I didn't think I would write a book until my 40's

True story. 

In my thirties, I’ve had very little time or mental capacity to write a book. 

But when God hands you a pen, or in my case, a keyboard, and says it’s time to write, you start writing. 

At least, that’s one way to describe how it felt to begin writing this book. 

Writing a book has been a lifelong dream of mine. It has been particularly tangible over the last decade, as motherhood has given me plenty of material to work with. I’ve written in a personal blog off and on ever since I was pregnant with Everett, my oldest. And I’m known for my exceptionally long and heartfelt social media posts. 

As I poured my heart into whatever I chose to write about, I've often had friends and family tell me that I should write a book. 

Their words echoed the dreams of my own heart, the ones I had tucked away for a later time. 

I distinctly remember walking along the road one evening, out for a solo walk after a day at home with the kids, praying over my writing dreams and longing to see them come true. 

As I poured the hopes of my heart out to the Lord, I felt an answer. 

“There will be a time for that.”

As I let those words and their meaning sink and settle into my heart and mind, I realized that while God gave me a gift for writing, my time to use it hadn’t come yet. Instead, I needed to steward the other significant task set before me: being a mom to my little ones. 

With God-given confidence, I re-shelved my book-writing dream and found peace, knowing that someday I’d grab it off the shelf for good. 

And from then on, when asked about writing a book, I’d smile and know that my answer of “someday” would really and truly, someday be true. 

 I soon experienced significant spiritual and emotional growth as a special needs mom, and it fully prepared and equipped me for a season that would be just on its heels. 

Which was, incredibly, the season of writing this book.

I don’t believe I was fully prepared to write this book until I had experienced all that I did in the year before I wrote it. This experience made me appreciate that God knows what I do not. Therefore, my trust in Him must come before the industry of my own ambition. 

I began writing this book on October 25, 2023, after weeks of feeling inspired to do it. I didn’t know what it would become; I just had to write. 

As I began to write this book, I kept writing and writing. Unexpectedly, I started creating chapters, and they seemed to multiply overnight. Within a month, I had half a book on my computer. 

I was astonished. 

A few months later, I had the incredible opportunity to join a four-month program called Havilah’s Author School, created by author, podcaster, and speaker Havilah Cunnington. 

In February, I started this school with half of a book already written. However, once I began to receive training from other established authors and Havilah herself, I took bits and pieces from the original manuscript but mostly wrote from scratch during those four months. 

The result?

A much more polished, well-structured manuscript fit for my audience. 

Looking back on this past year, I am in awe of God’s timing and the opportunities that He brought before me. I love that my hopes and dreams are important to Him and that He set me on this path at the right time. 

When I think about when I wrote the book, I think of how I started it in October, restarted it in February, and finished it in May. 

But what gives me goosebumps is this God-ordained message coming to fruition at this particular point in my journey. 

I can’t help but think of the little girl I once was, making handmade books with whatever materials I had. 

Or the young adult who was a little lost and didn’t quite feel sure of her career path but loved to write, so she started a blog. 

I also remember when I was a first-time mom, writing in my blog about the heartache of becoming a mom to a preemie in such a traumatic way and pouring my heart into my writing, healing my broken heart with each keystroke. 

I can recall the mom I was not that long ago, rocking a colicky baby to sleep after long, hard days with him, unaware of the syndrome that was causing it all, wondering if I’d ever do more than rock and bounce a crying baby. 

I can’t help but think of all the times I’ve wanted to write a book, yearning to sit down and open my heart, filling pages with the message it has to share. And yet, I did not have the time to do it.

It’s easy to cling to our heart's deepest and boldest desires, but true freedom comes when we release them and trust God to fulfill our greatest dreams in His perfect timing.

Psalm 37:4 says, "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." (NIV)

This verse emphasizes that as we delight in the Lord, aligning our hearts with His will, He fulfills our deepest desires. It reflects God's intimate understanding of our hearts and His desire to bless us when we trust in Him.

My friend, I hope you are encouraged to dream big and let God dream big for you, too. He has incredible plans for us if we only trust Him to see them through. 

He often asks us to wait. 

To surrender our plans to Him. 

To let go of what we tightly hold on to. 

All so He can surprise and delight us and bring glory to His name. 

And I can’t think of a better way to see my dreams come true than with Him and through Him! 

Glory be to God!